Cast of a thousand fools, enter Diogenes

Sigh. Remember the good old days? The halcyon, never-say-die, never-gonna-end days of the late nineties? When the tech world was all about "transforming interactive mindshare," and and B2B and all that blather? Yeah, us neither. That's because during the Dot Bomb craze we kept our low five digit paying jobs to work in <cough> academia. Looking back at all those gen-X'ers who pulled down six figure salaries in exchange for some great PowerPoint presentations, we can only laugh and point our fingers derisively, now. Actually, we're not that insensitive. We don't usually point.

During the craze, members of the technical ranks at UCSC kept it real by repeatedly running afoul of the wit and genius of The Network Apologist, The Packet Master, Keeper of Bits, and Guardian of All Things Network, our resident guru, Jim Warner. A guy who has done more for networking within the educational system of California than any other six people combined. We're sure other institutions have Warner imitations, but only Santa Cruz possesses the authentic Jim Warner. A walking computing compendium who claims he isn't a nice guy (possibly the only erroneous statement he's ever made).

Recalling International Jim Warner Day

Back in June of 1999, a couple of us thought it was high time we paid homage to The Great Hai Hairy-Baba. Someone pointed out that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, thus International Jim Warner Day was born. Given the import of the event, it was even deemed necessary to put together a FAQ.

Jim is known for his ability to turn a pithy phrase. His wit often turns up in the middle of emails as he strives to make a point. We're certain his prose will eventually make it into Americana.

Gems such as:

will no doubt find their way into future State of the Union speeches. He applies the same technique to his highly acclaimed technical disbursements.
Jim is always able to connect with the reader by explaining issues in plain and simple language:

But, without a doubt, the Warner literary trademark is his unflinching use of analogy to help the reader take the point:


Part of the Warner Day celebration featured the unveiling of the Warnerisms Database, a collection of some of Jim's entertaining phraseology. The database was designed to allow individuals to contribute, as well as to read, since most people on the receiving end of email from Warner eventually find something that causes milk to spew from their nose.

Photo Ops

We had a digital camera on hand for the event, but the images were thought lost up until being recently uncovered deep in a Unix filesystem. Even better, an hour after this web site went up, Bruce Horn sent us a new set of images that we didn't even know existed. Thus, for your viewing pleasure, we offer:


Ken Garges 1 Ken Garges 2
Eric Goodman
David Foster
Bill Parro
Bill Hyder
Scott Harris
[ Insert Name Here]
By the way, the winner of the Best-Dressed Warner was the fellow in this picture. Jim's the one on the right.

Those responsible for this page: Digital Plumber and Cyber Derelict. Warnerism Database originally courtesy of Mac N Tosh, Warnerism and Image rework by mad max.